iHacer un Vacación! Day 1

Location: Miles City, Montana
Miles traveled thus far: 700
Hours in the car: 12
Status: Comfortably ensconced in our two-and-a-half star hotel.
Mood: Wiped
Listening to: Llama trying to describe to my dad what a Waxing Gibbous is (with limited success).

This morning around 6:45, my alarm went off. Melted snow hummed through the sump pump, birds were singing, wildlife was awakening, and I was perfectly content to sleep through all of it. Just as I rolled over to resume a delightful dream I was having involving a rubber duck, a large pool, a hefty amount of bubbles and one scantly clad Johnny Depp, my dad swaggered through the bathroom adjoining my bedroom going about his morning routine (allegedly going nowhere near my bottle of Old Spice, but I know better), making as much noise as humanly possible and effectively depriving me of any further sleep. I finished packing my various essentials and Old Spice paraphernalia and we wound up leaving around 9:30.
Around 10:30 we stopped in Clearwater at Nelson Bros Bakery for cinnamon rolls the size of hubcaps. 

As it turns out, if you buy 8 or more gallons of gas, you get a free car wash. We sat through an immensely satisfying 2 minute automatic car wash and struck out again, the cleanest (and therefore best) car on the road. 

At 11:15 we passed a car advertising an extreme relaxation drink slash dietary supplement creatively named Drank. Evidently it's part of some massive movement to get people to be more laid back. I fully endorse it. I'm adding Drank to my ever-growing List Of Beverages I Must Try Before I Die. (See also: Brawndo).

We stopped at a local Best Buy to get a device for playing music because the drivers got bored with the local radio stations.

A lil bit later (time begins to blur with the lack of geographical landmarks that is North Dakota), we experienced a problem with our right front tire and spent a half hour at Northwestern Tire waiting for them to fix it. Out on the road again.

Yet later, we stopped at a gas station to fill up on gas. There, we witnessed a gaggle of 15 year old girls saran-wrapping a car. They even thoughtfully included colourful post-it notes. I was amused. Papa was not.

Eventually the sun went down and I grew weary of operating the cruise control and decided to pull off into a rest stop and let papa take over. Little did we know we had stumbled upon quite a collection of gifts left behind for us by the local wildlife. 

Once we got past the minefield of buffalo guano (apparently called "meadow muffins" by the locals) and into the actual bathroom, this was posted on the wall.

My mind was instantly filled with vivid images of a young Amish boy stumbling upon a rest stop on his way to a neighboring village with his sturdy Shetland pony in tow. Not sure why.

Once we cleared the bathrooms, we ventured out back to see if we could harass any feral cows. The sight that greeted us was astounding. Basically, we had discovered the Bad Lands.

Llama and I concluded that in the event of a nuclear armageddon, we would host a paintball tournament here for those who need to touch up on their aim. 

The drive to the hotel was dark and uneventful. I fell asleep. Which was apparently a bad idea considering I was the navigator. 

A few pictures of the hotel.

Labeled pillow cases:

A remote made out of recycled plastics:

A little bathroom thing:

Aaaaaand a poem/prayer thing I found on my bed.

Sorry if this post was less lively than previous ones. I'm beat. Til tomorrow!

Emmo ♥

p.s. the time stamp lies. It is now 12:10ish mountain time.