hello, faithful readers (aka old men in basements). today finds me sitting in the Urglurg's house and listening to her father argue with himself about something electronic (conversations that revolve around such topics usually confuse me, so i busied myself with making faces at the Urglurg behind her back.)
*Urglurg steals keyboard*
Hey! At least my dad doesn't sleepwalk!
*Urglurg gives back keyboard*
if anyone could explain how she managed to steal the keyboard, type a random comment (typical), and give it back before i realize she has moved, drop me a line. in the meantime, i think i shall continue to mooch her starbursts and look at her with puppy eyes (hence the starbursts), it is quite fascinating to watch her expression as she reads this under my elbow (wenis for all you MMEers out there, excluding the old men in basements).
*Urglurg tosses Starburst up, grabs keyboard as Emmo leaps up to retrieve them*
Yeah, 'cause puppy eyes REALLY go good with a gorilla face.....Erm, love ya, Emmo....
*having retrieved the starbursts and safely eaten every last one of them, Emmo steals back keyboard and gives the Urglurg a withering look*
shame on that creature, she ought to be kept on a leash. she assures me that she is "prone to muscle spasms" that only seem to happen when it's convenient (aka around me...i think i drew the short straw when it came to picking friends)
so, here i sit (well, sort of, considering the wild dance i occasionally must preform to keep the chair to myself)
*emmo shrieks in terror as the Urglurg holds up a clay likeness of a shrivelled old man that is terrifyingly realistic (no offense to all you basement-dwellers). Urglurg resumes her favorite pastime: laughing at emmo and grabbing the keyboard*
Ooh, the wisdom of Emmo (I know, I was amazed when I learned she had some too). "We act like we're stoned, we dance like we have to pee, and we talk like we're mentally challenged. But that's what makes us doofs--er, friends." Love it. Hm, that rat has eaten all my Starbursts. Starbursts or the keyboard. Wait, it's more like "life or death" when it comes to Emmo and Starbursts. I should have her make a poll on that one......
*emmo takes advantage of the Urglurg going to fetch more Starbursts and once again takes command of the keyboard*
i think my fondness of starbursts can come in handy sometimes, especially when i am in the company of a thief such as Urgness. wow, that almost sounded like a disease. Urgness.
young man: what is the diagnosis, doctor?
doctor: i'm sorry, son, but the tests came back positive: you have Urgness.
young man: oh, bugga!young man's aging mother: oh, Steggy, i'm so sorry! *bursts into tears and sobs into handkerchief*
young man: there there, mother, i may still have some time left. *moves to hug mother*
young man's aging mother: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, I WANT TO LIVE TO SEE THE LAST SEASON OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG!!!!!
yes, yes, i can see it now......maybe i should sell Urglurg off to the funny farm before we all fall mortally ill...
*As Emmo inches away from Urglurg, she takes the opportunity to kidnap keyboard*
They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, hee hee, to the funny farm! Where life is beautiful all the time!
*Dances like she has to pee off stage left*
*applauds loudly to general astoundment* bravo, Urglurg, bravo! such a wonderful potty-dance was never preformed onstage by such a....er....well, we'll go with talented....being. when people ask me what my favorite animal is, i smile and say, "why, the urglurg, of course!" they look at me as if i am stoned, and i point knowingly to the exhibit on the left labeled "HIGHLY UNSTABLE". i get a general nodding of heads after the Urglurg scratches behind her ear with her big toe.
*Tosses Emmo out of chair and sits down*
That takes maaaaad skillz!!!
*Is dive bombed by Emmo's artillery of Starbursts*
that'll teach her to respect the way of the Jedi
having fed the Urglurg a very fruity, undoubtedly high-sugar drink, can we take a guess as to what happens next?
a) she takes a flying leap out the window, screaming something along the lines of "HYENA'S IN THE PRIDELANDS!"
b) plays with an imaginary gun that somehow manages to shoot real bullets
c) takes over the snack food industry (Lay's won't know what hit 'em...)
let's take a poll, shall we? yes, that's a lovely, idea, Emmo, why don't you do that? i ask myself the same question. why shouldn't i? i think i should. i think, therefore i am, right? so, all things considered (including the Urglurg's incessant poking of my elbow as i attempt to regain my self-control), i think that's a splendid idea. take the poll at the bottom of the screen or suffer the wrath of the Urglurg (remember the black plague? me neither, but apparently Urglurg had something to do with it. i think they blamed the rats, but i know better).
until then, my dear and cherished basement-dwellers!
~em
p.s. what is your favorite letter? mine is the squiggly! ~~~~~~~ i love the squiggly. it just has such a nice little figure, wouldn't you say?
*Urglurg squeals in delight as the keyboard is handed over*
Yay! Until next time, folks! Hopefully this ravishing, clever, divine creature next to me will allow me to post again. *Pokes Emmo hopefully* If that's a no, you're a snoob.
Check out the poll people!
My favorite letter's V!
Okay, now for my last parting words:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back, and let them wonder how you did it.
