fungus balls

hello, faithful readers (aka old men in basements). today finds me sitting in the Urglurg's house and listening to her father argue with himself about something electronic (conversations that revolve around such topics usually confuse me, so i busied myself with making faces at the Urglurg behind her back.)

*Urglurg steals keyboard*

Hey! At least my dad doesn't sleepwalk!

*Urglurg gives back keyboard*

if anyone could explain how she managed to steal the keyboard, type a random comment (typical), and give it back before i realize she has moved, drop me a line. in the meantime, i think i shall continue to mooch her starbursts and look at her with puppy eyes (hence the starbursts), it is quite fascinating to watch her expression as she reads this under my elbow (wenis for all you MMEers out there, excluding the old men in basements).

*Urglurg tosses Starburst up, grabs keyboard as Emmo leaps up to retrieve them*

Yeah, 'cause puppy eyes REALLY go good with a gorilla face.....Erm, love ya, Emmo....

*having retrieved the starbursts and safely eaten every last one of them, Emmo steals back keyboard and gives the Urglurg a withering look*

shame on that creature, she ought to be kept on a leash. she assures me that she is "prone to muscle spasms" that only seem to happen when it's convenient (aka around me...i think i drew the short straw when it came to picking friends)

so, here i sit (well, sort of, considering the wild dance i occasionally must preform to keep the chair to myself)

*emmo shrieks in terror as the Urglurg holds up a clay likeness of a shrivelled old man that is terrifyingly realistic (no offense to all you basement-dwellers). Urglurg resumes her favorite pastime: laughing at emmo and grabbing the keyboard*

Ooh, the wisdom of Emmo (I know, I was amazed when I learned she had some too). "We act like we're stoned, we dance like we have to pee, and we talk like we're mentally challenged. But that's what makes us doofs--er, friends." Love it. Hm, that rat has eaten all my Starbursts. Starbursts or the keyboard. Wait, it's more like "life or death" when it comes to Emmo and Starbursts. I should have her make a poll on that one......

*emmo takes advantage of the Urglurg going to fetch more Starbursts and once again takes command of the keyboard*

i think my fondness of starbursts can come in handy sometimes, especially when i am in the company of a thief such as Urgness. wow, that almost sounded like a disease. Urgness.

young man: what is the diagnosis, doctor?

doctor: i'm sorry, son, but the tests came back positive: you have Urgness.

young man: oh, bugga!
young man's aging mother: oh, Steggy, i'm so sorry! *bursts into tears and sobs into handkerchief*
young man: there there, mother, i may still have some time left. *moves to hug mother*
young man's aging mother: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, I WANT TO LIVE TO SEE THE LAST SEASON OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG!!!!!

yes, yes, i can see it now......maybe i should sell Urglurg off to the funny farm before we all fall mortally ill...

*As Emmo inches away from Urglurg, she takes the opportunity to kidnap keyboard*

They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, hee hee, to the funny farm! Where life is beautiful all the time!

*Dances like she has to pee off stage left*

*applauds loudly to general astoundment* bravo, Urglurg, bravo! such a wonderful potty-dance was never preformed onstage by such a....er....well, we'll go with talented....being. when people ask me what my favorite animal is, i smile and say, "why, the urglurg, of course!" they look at me as if i am stoned, and i point knowingly to the exhibit on the left labeled "HIGHLY UNSTABLE". i get a general nodding of heads after the Urglurg scratches behind her ear with her big toe.

*Tosses Emmo out of chair and sits down*

That takes maaaaad skillz!!!

*Is dive bombed by Emmo's artillery of Starbursts*

that'll teach her to respect the way of the Jedi

having fed the Urglurg a very fruity, undoubtedly high-sugar drink, can we take a guess as to what happens next?

a) she takes a flying leap out the window, screaming something along the lines of "HYENA'S IN THE PRIDELANDS!"

b) plays with an imaginary gun that somehow manages to shoot real bullets

c) takes over the snack food industry (Lay's won't know what hit 'em...)

let's take a poll, shall we? yes, that's a lovely, idea, Emmo, why don't you do that? i ask myself the same question. why shouldn't i? i think i should. i think, therefore i am, right? so, all things considered (including the Urglurg's incessant poking of my elbow as i attempt to regain my self-control), i think that's a splendid idea. take the poll at the bottom of the screen or suffer the wrath of the Urglurg (remember the black plague? me neither, but apparently Urglurg had something to do with it. i think they blamed the rats, but i know better).

until then, my dear and cherished basement-dwellers!

~em

p.s. what is your favorite letter? mine is the squiggly! ~~~~~~~ i love the squiggly. it just has such a nice little figure, wouldn't you say?

*Urglurg squeals in delight as the keyboard is handed over*

Yay! Until next time, folks! Hopefully this ravishing, clever, divine creature next to me will allow me to post again. *Pokes Emmo hopefully* If that's a no, you're a snoob.
Check out the poll people!
My favorite letter's V!
Okay, now for my last parting words:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back, and let them wonder how you did it.

last skijammers

hey y'all, em here (duh). today was the last day of skijammers (tear tear). for the first, i dunno, 1/2 hour, i skiied with my class of inferior skiiers (gold...consisting of myself, austin, evan, nate, jack, and alex). that was cool. we took the wall a couple of times. the snow was great, and temperatures reached a soaring 30 degrees! perfect skiing weather. after the first 1/2 hour, i spotted Robbie in the crowd and skiied with him until lunch at noon. i can now do a tuck and racing turns, so i'll kick the butt off of all of you next time we go skiing!!!!!!! mwahaha! after that, i waited 45 minutes for my ever-punctual brother. i wiped the slopes with him, seeing as he hasn't been skiing in four years. i am currently sitting on his sofa in his apartment in Shoreview, watching him play grutosque video games and listening to him recite his lame jokes. on the ride home, we cranked up the volume and blared Linkin Park. new songs on my favorite list include Bleed it out, What i've done, Hands held high, Leave out all the rest, Apologize (not by linkin park, but i still like it), etc. my hair looks like i stuck my head in a blender, but whatevah, right?


howsabout a nice random picture to top things off with a nice cherry, eh? yes, emily, thats a wonderful idea, lets have it!

scary, huh? i really don't have anything to say to that other than it made me scratch my head and say "um....okay". cool beans.

official update: ryan has burped loudly 8 times this evening. let's all give him a round of applause, shall we? *attempts to clap but sneezes in the process* ooh, bless me. you gotta cut me some slack, though, ry cooked chicken for dinner on his "lean mean fat-reducing grilling machine". yum. my totaly dinner meal consisted of chicken, cottage cheese, macaroni and cheese, salad and milk. an all-around well-balanced meal, right? in any case, it was really good. my big bro can boil some mean noodles, i can tell ya that.

well, i should probably get up and do something productive (like checking rian's and beaker's blogs, for example). well, for now, lads/lassies!

-em

sup?

take a look at the time of this post. surprised? neither am i. i am probably gonna stay up at least another hour and a half making these stupid portfolio pages for language arts. grrr.....but since i would rather ace than fail and i'm just weird that way, i'm gonna do 'em, even if i have to stay up till 4:30, dammit!

so...since i haven't posted in a while, i shall update you on my life as of now. i have discovered the name of a band i have been looking for for about four months, so that was big. it's called Evanescence. they have rather depressing music, but given the poem i wrote and posted here, who's surprised?
play practice is going well, although i can't remember my lines to save my life. my surfer costume is going to be...well, embarrassing, to be kind. i get to wear guy's swimming trunks (flowery Hawaiian, even better) and a "beach boy shirt" (anyone with any idea what this is, look me up) and sandals that drive me nuts with the whole "flip-flip-flip" sound they make when you walk in them. icing the cake is the fact that i get to wear them in front of all of my peers, which i will never live down. can't wait. but there is a bright side...getting out of class to go bust a move on a stage in front of a bunch of people i will never see again in my life sure beats the heck out of taking notes all day :-)
my siblings are finding excuses to steal food from the fridge, so when i am STARVING after play practice every day, guess what's left? cabbage, grapes, a few slimy carrots i use as treats for my dog, and a half-pound of butter. i have made a new year's resolution: get my own mini-fridge with a lock on it and load it!
still haven't found my hairbrush, after having had it stolen from my GYM LOCKER by KEVIN SUNDQUIST. anyone want to venture a guess as to WHY he was in the girl's locker room? i always thought there was somethin weird about that kid, guess i was wrong...there are a lot of things weird about him.
obsession with Maximum Ride still hasn't left, and i seriously doubt it ever will. i'm gonna use that book for my book talk tomorrow...oh wait, make that later today. i'm probably gonna fall asleep in math again. the wrath of mrs. lundgren is worth it, believe me. her beloved inequalities and radicals can burn.
anyone up for ping-pong? i filmed the national ping-pong world series 2008 at my cousin's house over xmas, and i was the announcer. the contestants were Jaque and Breehay, going head-to-head to find out who really was the better ping-pong player. i left before we could finish the championship game, so i guess i'll never know. what i do know, though, is that Jaque's basement will never look the same again; we filmed commercials for Five gum Flare, using a fire extinguisher.....that's gonna take a while to clean up.
wanna see a random scary picture? sure you do, who doesn't love random scary pictures?




well, dunno about you, but i'd definitely classify that as scary, wouldn't you? i know, i'll take a poll. at the bottom of this page, take the poll and i will do a follow-up post about it (that should be fun) ;-)

well, i should probably haul myself off my lard and get a move-on on my portfolio pages. until then, cohorts!

~em